The Good, The Bad & The Ugly: The Talk

I have hesitated writing anything about the disaster that is CBS's The Talk. I am at work when it airs and have precious little room on my DVR (I still cannot figure out how to record programs I want to keep off the freakin thing). I was also pretty sure after I watched an early episode the show last year that it would be gone by Christmas. But... then something happened, the personality of some of the hosts took off and the show started to connect with viewers. I watched a handful of episodes over the Christmas holidays and relented and DVR'd when there was a guest that interested me.



In those few episodes I came to a few 'not so difficult to come to' conclusions. Although Julie Chen was well suited for morning tv and even won me over (after about 4 seasons) on Big Brother, there is a reason she has been dubbed 'Chenbot'. Sara Gilbert, so brilliant as Darlene on Roseanne makes the Chenbot look like Miss Personality by comparison. As stiff as she is thin, the only thing that saved Gilbert from blending right into the set was her relationship with Leah Remini. I have never really liked Sharon Osbourne (possibly because I think she would gut you like a fish without blinking) but understand her widespread appeal. She has that 'trash talking' wild, older mother thing going on. Those types of mothers usually scare me, mostly because they cannot be truly counted on or trusted. I prefer my mother figures more Mrs C than Mrs O.



Chen and Gilbert were bad enough, and when the show began, Holly Robinson Peete and Leah Remini rounded out an uncomfortable foursome. Holly (who although I know was an actress, but I had only seen in Celebrity Apprentice) showed her early desperation to succeed with pre written jokes, antic dotes and stories so obviously preplanned. I am not sure how great an actress she was, but she could not pull off 'impromptu' if her life depended on it.

Remini annoyed the shit out of me on King of Queens and despite the adorable Kevin James turned me off the show. Early on in The Talk she was so loud and out of control it was clear at some point she would ordered to reign it in. But...then something happened, Peete got more comfortable, stronger and often more adept (careful Holly, Chen's husband is the boss!!!!) than Chen at keeping the group together and on topic. Remini dialed it back (slightly, but enough) and they became two of the shows strongest elements. They connected with the audience (something Chen and Gilbert did not, nor still have not, been able to do).

Last week the show returned without them. Their firings were not only surprising, they were cold, ugly and cruel. Cold; because both not only worked hard last season, they worked their ass's off to take a poorly conceived show and turn it into something almost watchable. Ugly; because being on The Talk meant sharing. Both women shared intimate details of their sex lives, their children, their life. All worth it for a job, entirely not worth it for unemployment. Cruel; as both women were unceremoniously dumped with Peete only officially getting word the week before the new season began.

Watching the shows September 11th tribute was so bad I had to turn it off. Emotion is something tied to connection and given Chen and Gilbert still have not made one, the show seemed desperately manipulative. Chen's discussion the impact 911 had on her reality gig Big Brother (with BB's Allison Grodner trying desperately to save the season by downplaying the event to a player who had a relative in one of the towers) was truly disgusting.



Why would anyone care how it affected Sheryl Underwood (who?) and Molly Shannon (brilliant comedic actress, not so brilliant talk show host) given they just started on the show two days earlier. Adding Kris Jenner (ugh) I think will be the final nail in this shows coffin. The ratings have yet to dip but that is more than likely the 'watch an accident' effect. If Jenner (riding on her daughters whoring of the media) has not signed a contract, CBS should get their old hosts back toot sweet! I DVR'd briefly to see the changes, and there was nothing to make me tune back in again. For a show called the The Talk there was was mostly just banal yakking with no mention of any cast departures nor Sara Gilbert's summer break-up. Better or worse, if this had been The View, Barbara Walters would have taken the opportunity to shine the spotlight on herself, ensure she told the audience they all loved one another and proceeded to plug a special. Barbara made a point to mention (slam) each of the co-hosts who left her daily one hour commercial.



The theme song from MASH says Suicide Is Painless, but this death is hard to watch. Suicide is always emotion based and the emotion in this case has to be that of Chen. I have never really felt nepotism played a role in her jobs, she had most of them before marrying Les Moonve. It is not really possible however to believe it did not play a role in Remini and Peete's departures. They out shined Chen pure and simple and with the hiring of Shannon and Underwood (who?) you can be damned sure that won't happen again.